Feeling Stuck? Become Free to Move Forward

Yesterday I spoke with a close friend who told me how she felt stuck and couldn’t figure out how to move forward. As we talked, she described taking actions and using a lot of energy but still feeling as if she were getting nowhere.

“Why?” she asked. “How can I do so much work and not accomplish what I want to accomplish?”

I painted her a picture of being caught in quicksand. Quicksand is created as liquefied soil loses strength and cannot support weight. Once inside the water-logged sand or clay you begin to sink. And yes, the more you struggle, the faster you sink. As it is with my friend. She’s putting forth a lot of energy but still feels stuck.

There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt the same way and I bet the same is true for you as well. Recently I had another friend tell me that the energy I put off is so strong he could feel it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t using it well. I too felt stuck. For me it was like spinning in a cyclone of energy. I worked so hard and did so much but just kept swirling.

Thankfully, I have learned to stop spinning in that energy and have focused it to work for me, not against me. Once we give up the struggle and release the negative thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that hold us stuck, we can move from crisis or struggle to surviving and even into thriving.

How do you move forward?

Here’s some of the steps I took:

1.  List all the different areas of your life.

• Family – Break down into groups if needed
• Finances – Personal and Business
• Health – Weight, Nutrition, Physical, Mental, Emotional
• Friends – Break into groups if needed
• Work – Specific Jobs, People, Bosses, Time, Pay
• Business – Jobs, People, Tasks, Paperwork, Taxes, Employees
• Hobbies
• Side Businesses
• Church
• Spirituality
• Personal Development
• Relaxation
• Free Time
• (Whatever else you think of.)

2.  Review this chart on Thriving, Surviving, Struggling, and Crisis. (This was shared with me by a friend. She found it on Facebook on cPTSD and me's personal Facebook blog H.O.P.E - HOLD ON, PAIN ENDS. This chart was adapted from: Watson, P., Gist, R., Taylor, V. Eviander, E., Leto F., Martin, R., Vaught, D., Nash, W. P., Westphal, R., & Litz, B. (2013). Stress First Aid for Firefighters and Emergency Services Personnel, National Fallen Firefighters Foundation.)

3.  Put each area of your life into one of the four categories. Once that's done, you can go through each list in the category and see if anything else jumps out at you. You may recognize things from other areas that need to be addressed in a specific area as well.

4.  Use doTERRA Essential Oils to help you relax and let go of some of the emotional baggage. Here's some of the oils I use for these different emotional issues. (You can find more in the book & app Essential Emotions. All quotes and information about the emotional aspects of the oils are taken from this valuable reference but are only a small part of what you can learn!) Each oil has a link to my doTERRA page so you can learn more about the many different ways the oil can help you, not only emotionally.

•       To feel calm and steady: 

  • Calmer® Oil Restful Blend - “Calmer Blend has a soothing influence on the heart and mind. It consoles individuals…[and] is also beneficial when and individual is feeling over-stimulated….”

  • Steady™ Oil Grounding Blend - “Steady Blend offers deeply grounding and centering energy to individuals when they are faced with the unknown…[and helps them] feel stable and supported enough to embrace personal introspection and seasons of dedicated healing.”

• To help release negative emotions: (The book, Essential Emotions offers many more.)
  • Nervousness:
    • Basil - Basil is known as the “oil of renewal.” It helps with “overwhelm, the inability to cope and is “helpful for recovery from negative habits. It gives hope and optimism to the tired soul.”
    • Wild Orange - Wild Orange, the “oil of abundance…. It inspires abundance, fosters creativity, and supports a positive mood.”
    • PastTense® Oil Tension Blend - PastTense is the “oil of relief…it assists individuals in releasing the stress and emotional tension…. PastTense synergistically combines the powerful relaxation qualities of essential oils to assist and teach the body how to calm and relax.”
    • Spearmint - Spearmint, the “oil of confident speech…inspires clarity of thought and confident verbal expression. Individuals in need of Spearmint may hide their thoughts, opinions, and ideas by withholding their voices.”
  • Overwhelm
    • Basil
    • AromaTouch® Oil Massage Blend - AromaTouch is the “oil of relaxation. [and] assists the body in calming, relaxing, and releasing physical tension… [and] moved an individual from stiffness of heart and mind to openness and flexibility…soothing to both body and mind….”
    • Rescuer™ Oil Soothing Blend - “Rescuer Blend is soothing to body, mind, and heart. This blend restores calm when it has been lost and reassures fears when they seem too overpowering to manage.”
    • PastTense
    • DigestZen® Oil Digestive Blend - The “oil of assimilation, DigestZen…has a powerful emotional quality for supporting individuals who lack interest in life and the physical world…[and those who] may have a tendency to take on too much at once.”
    • Tangerine - The “oil of spontaneity. Tangerine’s strong qualities of joyfulness can lift the darkest of moods. It can assist those who feel cut off from the lightness of heart…[and aid] those who feel overburdened by responsibility….”
    • Melissa - The “oil of light. Melissa oil awakens the soul to truth and light. It reminds individuals of who they truly are and why they came to this earth. Melissa invites one to release everything and anything that holds them back from reaching their fullest potential.”
    • Serenity - The “oil of tranquility. Serenity has a powerful effect on the mind and heart…that invites individuals to relinquish feelings of stress, anxiousness, and being overwhelmed.”
    • Yarrow|Pom -  The “oil of energetic safety. Yarrow is a conduit for light and creates feelings of emotional and energetic safety. It serves as an oil of protection by shielding individuals from negative influences….”
    • Tamer™ Oil Digestive Blend - “Tamer helps individuals integrate their thoughts, feelings, and experiences…. It assists at times when individuals are feeling incongruent or unsure of how to cope…and offers a reprieve when individuals have been absorbing the emotions of others and are unsure of their personal responsibility in managing their own feelings….”
  •  Sadness:
    • dōTERRA Breathe® Oil Respiratory Blend - The “oil of Breath, Breathe addresses the inability to let go of grief and pain… [and] encourages individuals to… receive genuine love and healing.”
    • Ylang Ylang - The “oil of the inner child, Ylang Ylang is a powerful remedy for the heart. It reconnects individuals with the inner child and the pure, simple ways of the heart.”
    • Geranium - The “oil of Love and Trust. [It] restores confidence in the innate goodness of others and in the world. It facilitates trust… [and] encourages emotional honesty, love, and forgiveness. It is a gentle oil, perfect for babies and children.”
    • Peppermint - The "oil of a buoyant heart, Peppermint brings joy and buoyancy to the heart and soul. It invigorates body, mind and spirit, and reminds individuals that life can be happy, and they don't have to be controlled by fear."
    • AromaTouch
    • Siberian Fir - The “oil of aging and perspective, Siberian Fir addresses generational healing from the perspective of the mature…. [It] also offers comfort and support during periods of grief, regret, and longing.”
    • Hygge - The “oil of sanctuary”, Hygge blend was formulated to [aid] oneself in simple comforts and cultivating contented awareness…. This blend soothes and restores the melancholy and careworn soul.”

4.  Use the Intentional Breathing Technique to let go of the negative thoughts, beliefs, and emotions listed in the chart above to help you move forward. 

How It Works: Focus on something that bothers you and set the intention to release it to God or the Universe. Before starting, rate the level of stress it causes you on a scale of 1 to 10 (aim for something around 5-7 to begin). Close your eyes, take slow, deep breaths, and imagine the stress leaving your body with each exhale. Repeat until you feel your stress level decrease significantly.

Example: If an unresolved argument with a coworker has been bothering you, focus on that situation and consciously release the tension as you breathe.

Focus on one thing at a time. (Multi-tasking isn’t your friend here.) Which area do you want/need to work on first? Take the time to do this. Don’t try to work on everything at once. Prioritize what areas to work on first and then practice for at least five minutes a day letting go of those negative emotions. This is a journey and you are on a path to Becoming More!

I invite you to ask questions and leave comments. And if you don't have doTERRA Essential Oils at your fingertips, you can go here to order. Or, get your oils at wholesale price and choose the oils you want to start with by clicking here.

If you found this post helpful, please comment below and share it with a friend.